WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Facing a possible Congressional ethics investigation, embattled former Rep. Eric Massa was upbeat today, telling reporters, “I welcome a good…

New developments in the case of the right-wing’s latest hero:

Former Rep. Eric Massa has been under investigation for allegations that he groped multiple male staffers working in his office, according to three sources familiar with the probe.

The allegations surrounding the New York Democrat date back at least a year, and involve “a pattern of behavior and physical harassment,” according to one source. The new claims of alleged groping contradict statements by Massa, who resigned his office on Monday after it became public that he was the subject of a House ethics committee investigation for possible harassment.

Massa had said that the allegations were limited to his use of “salty language” with his staff. He apologized for making some inappropriate comments and argued he was being unfairly villified.

Yikes. It’s almost makes you think he won’t show up as scheduled for Glenn Beck’s program, because even Beck won’t be able to ignore these sorts of allegations without damaging his credibility with Fox viewers.

More importantly, it underscores the fact that there is no connection between Eric Massa’s health care vote and his resignation. Remember, 39 House Democrats voted no on reform. Massa is the only one of them to resign. It’s not because he voted no.

Can this story get any more bizarre? Last week we had Rep. Eric Massa’s (D-NY) surprise announcement that he was not running for reelection, and after swirling rumors about an ethics investigation and health concerns, that he was resigning, effective today.

And after a radio interview done yesterday, we may have moved into the realm of mental health concerns — or to put it another way, is this guy crazy?

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) told a New York radio station Sunday that an ethics investigation into his behavior focused on sexually-charged comments he made to an aide at a New Year’s Eve celebration, but claimed he was unaware of an ethics committee investigation into the incident until after he had announced his retirement last week.

Massa said he had believed the committee was investigating an unrelated fundraising letter, and suggested that the ethics dust-up may have been orchestrated by Democratic leaders to get him out of office before the health care vote.  [...]

In the radio show, Massa also accused Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) of lying about the timeline of the investigation.

In a statement released Wednesday, Hoyer’s office said the Maryland lawmaker was alerted to the allegations against Massa in early February by his staff. The statement said Hoyer gave Massa or his office 48 hours to report the complaint to the ethics panel or threatened to do so himself.

“Steny Hoyer has never said a single word to me, at all, ever, not once. Not a word. This is a lie. It’s a blatant, false statement,” Massa said.  [...]

Massa also suggested that Democratic leaders are using the ethics committee to get him out of office before the vote on health care because he voted against the House health care bill last fall.

Massa said, “Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill and this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill, and now they’ve gotten rid of me and it will pass. You connect the dots.”

What’s not clear in all this? Mostly how Massa suddenly became “the deciding vote on the health care bill.”

I’ll leave alone how Massa was somehow “set up for this from the very, very beginning,” when it all started with Massa’s suggestion to an aide that he should be “fracking” him.

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